Just so you know....

One of my besties, who happens to also be my cousin-in-law (fancy that) just moved to Arizona a little over a week and a half ago.  I was not feeling the greatest when she had her moving party, but I showed up anyway because I could not let her leave without at least saying good-bye in person.  Hope I didn't get anyone sick!  On our way over to her party I started bawling like a baby knowing that I was going to have to say good-bye to her.  I bawled like a baby when I wrote inside her card (which also made me bawl).  I wiped my tears and made my way inside with everyone, just in enough time to see her little boy and little girl one last time.  I managed not to cry while I admired all the friends and family she had there and I held it together to hold a conversation with her.  We couldn't stay very long because the kids were with us and I was sick.  When I realized I had to leave and actually say my goodbyes, I started bawling before I even said anything to her.  (Hell, I'm crying just typing this).  We held each other in a hug which to other people in the room probably thought we were over-doing it.  We were crying on each other's shoulders and I unfortunately got her hairspray hair in my mouth, which I didn't want to move because then I'd have to let go of the hug.  :-)  After saying our goodbyes and my "ugly crying" we left.  All the way home I bawled, literally for like 40 minutes straight.

The past week and a half have seemed like months already.  I miss our Friday night family get-togethers and watching The Hangover for the thousand and one time.  I miss our morning play dates and outing adventures.  There was still so much I wanted to do with her before she left that I didn't get a chance to do.  I have been able to read her blog updates to see how the move and getting settled in went, which has both been fun and sad at the same time.  And then after writing her a lengthy email I realized, I am not being the greatest friend.



I love this girl!




My kids would rather take a wonderful picture with Danielle than with me!




Konner and Caden are the best of friends!!



One of my greatest memories!

I'm sure she had plenty of people doubting why they would make such a huge move across the country and people doubting that they would enjoy it down there.  And instead of being the friend who understood and was happy for her, I came off as the friend making her feel guilty for going.  Because staying here with me, I thought, was more important than what she needed to do for her family.

So I am on here, to let her and everyone else know, I'm soooo happy for you!  I couldn't be more excited for you and your family!  The pictures already look amazing and I am eager to see more of AZ and the outings you guys take as the year goes on.  I'm sorry that I have been so selfish in your leaving!  I just knew that I would miss you immensely and it's not like I can just come visit you on a whim some weekend.  A friend like you only comes around once in a lifetime and I'm grateful every day that you and your family came into my life.  You have made the last year and a half a joyous one, that's for sure.  I'll never forget our front yard water fight, our Friday night family gatherings, our trying on the same coat at the same time, or our endless quoting of The Hangover.  ....Seriously Carlos, not at the table!  You have made me smile and laugh when no one else could and when I was really down.  Your kids made my kids' lives happier and richer just knowing them, especially Caden.  I don't think Konner could have asked for a better first friend than him!  I should have been a friend you could lean on when you were apprehensive or scared.  I should never have been the person who made you feel bad or guilty about leaving.  I was selfish, and for that I deeply apologize.  

And I'm sorry for acting like you guys were dying, because although AZ feels like a million miles away, it's not like I've said good-bye to you forever.  You'll be back to visit and I hope sometime I can come down to visit you.  There's always email, blogging, facebook, and skype.  As long as you'll still have me, there is no getting rid of me!  Just because you are living far away, doesn't mean our friendship is ending.  You will not get rid of me!  Although it'll be sad that I won't be able to see your kids grow up in person, get to hold any new babies you have or have anymore play dates and get-togethers on a whim, I'll still be happy that you are in my life!  You mean the world to me, and despite my rather sad attempts at trying to convince you to change your mind and move in next door to us, I hope you know that!  I am VERY happy for you and your family and I'm excited for your new journey!  There's a small hole in my heart for your leaving and my missing you, but all tears aside, there is a bigger spot in my heart for you, your friendship and my happiness that you are happy!  'Cause as a friend, that's all I want in life for you (besides love of course).  

I miss you tons, and I LOVE YOU!!